Friday, 17 June 2011
Day 15
There are rare days that I think everyone is purposely misunderstanding me. When I have these days, it's best to ignore me. I wish I could! Anyway...there is little point in posting. All went well...still intact...
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Day 14
Two weeks! I going to call this a milestone even though there's still a long way to go.
I have a recurrent dream which suddenly popped up last night. It concerns A in a hotel room with a lover. I am there, watching. While I can place it accurately enough, the details are made up due to the fact that I wasn't, actually present in the room at the time.
It always starts with them kissing. I always found this the most difficult part of sharing K. Kissing is somehow the most intimate thing we do as couples. I never quite got over the pangs of jealousy aroused by passionate kissing. In saying that, the jealousy was very quickly dissipated with the onset of foreplay and, eventually, sex.
In the dream, A is wearing a loose, summer frock. This is an addition by me because I'm pretty sure I've never seen her dressed this way, but it helps the visuals in the dream. As they kiss, A's back is towards me and her lover's hands roam over her back, eventually lifting the dress, revealing her black pants. With his other hand, he lowers the zip.
As the dress falls to the floor, leaving A in just a pair of pants (she wasn't wearing a bra), my eyes are drawn to her back as his hands wander over the surface of her skin and she begins to arch and stretch. In the dream, I am very close, taking in a lot of detail: his fingers, the muscles in her back, the beginnings of perspiration.
She then moves away from him, her hands lifting his t-shirt over his head, throwing it aside, her nails tracing down his chest to the waistband of his jeans. He is looking at her breasts, one hand gently cupping one as his fingers flick a hardening nipple. She releases his jeans and pushes them down.
A then goes to her knees, rubbing the bulge in his pants, massaging him, finally pulling at the elastic at his waist. She reveals his cock which is thick and long and sticking straight up, satyr-like in his excitement. She takes him in her mouth, slowly, deliberately. He is lost in pleasure.
Eventually, he reaches down and lifts her to her feet, guiding her to the bed, removing her pants as she sits down. He lays her on her back and lowers his head to her breasts. He nibbles and sucks her nipples, making her moan, one of his hands moving between her pegs. His head works down her body.
She comes quite quickly from his oral sex, her moans getting louder as it built. He then lays on top of her, kissing again.
Her legs apart, she guides his cock into her, gasping as he enters her. Her back arches from the bed as he starts to pump, slowly, steadily. Her knees bend and she wraps her legs around his waist so he can go deeper.
He continues building momentum as she shudders in a second orgasm. And then change position. He turns her around, onto her knees, legs spread. He enters her from behind. His pumping gets faster while his fingers probe her body; feeling, digging. His back glistens in front of me as he suddenly comes, shuddering, pushing completely into her. They collapse onto the bed.
They lay quietly for a moment, side by side, touching each other lightly. Then he starts playing with her nipples again, his cock starting to harden as she grips it. After a while he moves on top of her and they fuck in missionary position, kissing and groaning together.
His second orgasm takes a long time as he ferociously pumps into her. Afterwards they kiss, gently and he thanks her. He stands and dresses, smiling, kisses her goodbye and leaves, flashing me a big grin as he goes.
That is basically the dream (though there are variations and quite often it doesn't play to the end) and I always wake up with an erection and the feeling that I was actually there. I always look around to make sure I'm in bed and only dreaming. It is very vivid and normally occurs when I am abstaining.
The day was spent wearing the black panty girdle holding me firm. I have felt on edge just about all day.
I just read an account of a first time cuckold whose wife is well used by a BBC. It read a lot like fantasy but still turned me on A LOT..
I have a recurrent dream which suddenly popped up last night. It concerns A in a hotel room with a lover. I am there, watching. While I can place it accurately enough, the details are made up due to the fact that I wasn't, actually present in the room at the time.
It always starts with them kissing. I always found this the most difficult part of sharing K. Kissing is somehow the most intimate thing we do as couples. I never quite got over the pangs of jealousy aroused by passionate kissing. In saying that, the jealousy was very quickly dissipated with the onset of foreplay and, eventually, sex.
In the dream, A is wearing a loose, summer frock. This is an addition by me because I'm pretty sure I've never seen her dressed this way, but it helps the visuals in the dream. As they kiss, A's back is towards me and her lover's hands roam over her back, eventually lifting the dress, revealing her black pants. With his other hand, he lowers the zip.
As the dress falls to the floor, leaving A in just a pair of pants (she wasn't wearing a bra), my eyes are drawn to her back as his hands wander over the surface of her skin and she begins to arch and stretch. In the dream, I am very close, taking in a lot of detail: his fingers, the muscles in her back, the beginnings of perspiration.
She then moves away from him, her hands lifting his t-shirt over his head, throwing it aside, her nails tracing down his chest to the waistband of his jeans. He is looking at her breasts, one hand gently cupping one as his fingers flick a hardening nipple. She releases his jeans and pushes them down.
A then goes to her knees, rubbing the bulge in his pants, massaging him, finally pulling at the elastic at his waist. She reveals his cock which is thick and long and sticking straight up, satyr-like in his excitement. She takes him in her mouth, slowly, deliberately. He is lost in pleasure.
Eventually, he reaches down and lifts her to her feet, guiding her to the bed, removing her pants as she sits down. He lays her on her back and lowers his head to her breasts. He nibbles and sucks her nipples, making her moan, one of his hands moving between her pegs. His head works down her body.
She comes quite quickly from his oral sex, her moans getting louder as it built. He then lays on top of her, kissing again.
Her legs apart, she guides his cock into her, gasping as he enters her. Her back arches from the bed as he starts to pump, slowly, steadily. Her knees bend and she wraps her legs around his waist so he can go deeper.
He continues building momentum as she shudders in a second orgasm. And then change position. He turns her around, onto her knees, legs spread. He enters her from behind. His pumping gets faster while his fingers probe her body; feeling, digging. His back glistens in front of me as he suddenly comes, shuddering, pushing completely into her. They collapse onto the bed.
They lay quietly for a moment, side by side, touching each other lightly. Then he starts playing with her nipples again, his cock starting to harden as she grips it. After a while he moves on top of her and they fuck in missionary position, kissing and groaning together.
His second orgasm takes a long time as he ferociously pumps into her. Afterwards they kiss, gently and he thanks her. He stands and dresses, smiling, kisses her goodbye and leaves, flashing me a big grin as he goes.
That is basically the dream (though there are variations and quite often it doesn't play to the end) and I always wake up with an erection and the feeling that I was actually there. I always look around to make sure I'm in bed and only dreaming. It is very vivid and normally occurs when I am abstaining.
The day was spent wearing the black panty girdle holding me firm. I have felt on edge just about all day.
I just read an account of a first time cuckold whose wife is well used by a BBC. It read a lot like fantasy but still turned me on A LOT..
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Day 13
My night with N...It was all a bit disappointing in sexual terms. We discussed the sph thing and I told him about sharing K when my fetish originated. He was a bit shocked about the sharing.
I told him that K’s boyfriend used to call me LP. While clearly short for Little Penis, it also referred to the fact that I had a lot of vinyl records. This meant he could use the nickname in any company, explaining it as appropriate. N thought this was clever to some extent. None of it is true. The LP part anyway.
I was hoping for a better reaction but all N gave me was solemn understanding. I think A is right. He is offering me sympathy rather than playing the game. While this is a lovely trait in terms of friendship, it sucks when it comes to sph.
He asked about how I find people to humiliate me and I explained about sph forums and contact lists online. We could have been talking about his day at work for all the excitement it created. Still, the nervous anticipation of yesterday, leading up to his arrival was worth having.
This morning was a bit odd. N has his shower then comes downstairs dressed and ready for work. He has a cup of tea and we chat a bit before he goes. I’m always in my pyjamas. I was very aware of the cage peeking out from the leg of my shorts while we talked (I didn’t need to tell him about the chastity thing) and kept wiggling about while we talked.
As well as the cage, I was in a heightened state of arousal for some reason. All a bit uncomfortable.
The day went by without too much tension apart from the train ride back from London. Sitting across the aisle from me was a couple doing everything but actually fucking. Lots of hands in lots of places. I found this very exciting, sneaking glances whenever I could. They didn’t seem to mind. I particularly liked it when she put her hand down the front of his jeans. I really wanted to thank them but they left the train before I did.
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Day 12
It was a day of nervous anticipation spent in the garden. Nervous because N is coming over tonight and I'll have to face the questions about sph and the 'history' of it all. Well, for me, anyway.
Being busy in the garden meant I had a lot of time to reflect on things, which managed to keep the pressure up in the cage. I was on edge pretty much all day.
As a sort of self dare, I ordered a couple of badges online on Sunday night and they arrived today. I'm not sure if I have the courage to wear either in public.
We shall see how brave I feel on Friday. I am daring myself to wear the 4" one in a prominent position.
Being busy in the garden meant I had a lot of time to reflect on things, which managed to keep the pressure up in the cage. I was on edge pretty much all day.
As a sort of self dare, I ordered a couple of badges online on Sunday night and they arrived today. I'm not sure if I have the courage to wear either in public.
We shall see how brave I feel on Friday. I am daring myself to wear the 4" one in a prominent position.
Monday, 13 June 2011
Day 11
The cage went on as soon as possible this morning (the toilets in Starbucks, actually) as I left for pleasant trip to Halnaker windmill in search of a neolithic enclosure. I was with A who looked gorgeous, as usual.
Stripping off for a naked photo in front of the windmill was a wonderful thrill. I love the feeling of being naked outside, particularly on the top of a hill. The wind always feels fabulous on my skin. It was even better today with the cage on.
It is great that A knows and I get to show her. It's a lovely tease and nice being able to communicate the discomfort when climbing over things. She clearly thinks I'm mad.
Later, in the pub, I told her about the guy whose wife holds his key and he has no idea how long he will be locked up. She understood the thrill inherent in this. Having your orgasms completely controlled by someone else is, I admit, certainly exciting. It reminds me of the time I entered Karen only to be told after a few strokes to stop. While incredibly frustrating, the power this gives the woman is fantastic.
We also talked about women who flash men in public and the thought of A flashing someone managed to get me hard (well, as hard as possible in the confines of the cage). Perhaps A could go and buy some shoes wearing no pants and a skirt. Of course, I'd want to be there.
While emotionally comforting, the cage is a little physically uncomfortable today.
I spent the evening watching and reading porn and generally making myself more uncomfortable.
I found an interesting site about penis size. It is written (badly) by a guy who has a small penis and who believes the bigger the penis, the more alpha the male. While I can't agree with the philosophy (after all, a guy with a small penis is generally going to be trying to prove himself as top dog as long as no-one can judge him by his size) the site is rather interesting from the point of view of finding your own niche.
He also has a lot of very nice links to, among others, cuckold sites, which I'm having fun going through and turning myself on with.
Stripping off for a naked photo in front of the windmill was a wonderful thrill. I love the feeling of being naked outside, particularly on the top of a hill. The wind always feels fabulous on my skin. It was even better today with the cage on.
It is great that A knows and I get to show her. It's a lovely tease and nice being able to communicate the discomfort when climbing over things. She clearly thinks I'm mad.
Later, in the pub, I told her about the guy whose wife holds his key and he has no idea how long he will be locked up. She understood the thrill inherent in this. Having your orgasms completely controlled by someone else is, I admit, certainly exciting. It reminds me of the time I entered Karen only to be told after a few strokes to stop. While incredibly frustrating, the power this gives the woman is fantastic.
We also talked about women who flash men in public and the thought of A flashing someone managed to get me hard (well, as hard as possible in the confines of the cage). Perhaps A could go and buy some shoes wearing no pants and a skirt. Of course, I'd want to be there.
While emotionally comforting, the cage is a little physically uncomfortable today.
I spent the evening watching and reading porn and generally making myself more uncomfortable.
I found an interesting site about penis size. It is written (badly) by a guy who has a small penis and who believes the bigger the penis, the more alpha the male. While I can't agree with the philosophy (after all, a guy with a small penis is generally going to be trying to prove himself as top dog as long as no-one can judge him by his size) the site is rather interesting from the point of view of finding your own niche.
He also has a lot of very nice links to, among others, cuckold sites, which I'm having fun going through and turning myself on with.
Sunday, 12 June 2011
Day 10
Not a lot to report today. Haven't been bothered with any frustrations or sexual fantasies at all today.
Given I have 90 days to write, I'm thinking there may be quite a few days just like this. A pity when I'd rather like to be on edge for the whole time.
Given I have 90 days to write, I'm thinking there may be quite a few days just like this. A pity when I'd rather like to be on edge for the whole time.
Saturday, 11 June 2011
Day Nine
As the days tick by, there are dangerous times when all you want to do is masturbate. Today was one of those. It’s not that I’ve been permanently hard or excited but all I really want to do is grab it and relieve myself. It’s days like this that take all my willpower. They come without warning. There will be no porn to view today as this would be really tempting fate.
I have been humiliating this guy with a small penis lately and I noticed that he didn’t pull his foreskin back on his strokes when masturbating. I told him to tie a ribbon around the end and then masturbate. I thought this would be interesting but the more I think about it, the more I want to try. Well...in about three months...
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