Day 203

I have been very sick and, subsequently, completely missed the magic 200 days!  Not that I felt like celebrating anything.  A is off to Amsterdam for a bit of dirty stuff tomorrow.  My flagging sexual urges are starting to pick up a bit as I imagine what she'll be getting up to...or who is getting up her...

Day 195

Today I have set myself a challenge.  I am going to try and milk every last drop out of myself over the day.  I have decided to ruin an orgasm every hour and record the results here.

This is the result at 10:30am

I realise I should have included something for scale!  I will do that at 11:30.

The amount at 11:30am wasn't much different; perhaps a little less.

12:30 is really starting to scrape the barrel!  I don't think there's a lot left.

I missed two hours (I had to go out for a bit) so this, pathetic result is from 3:30pm.

And that was it.  At 4:30, nothing came out.  I must be empty.

Day 194

Today I received a fantastic email from A, describing her adventures in London yesterday.  She had a brilliant time.  I really wished I'd been with her.  Still, my vicarious enjoyment is almost as good.

I've been thinking about what I'm going to do in six days time.  I'm not sure I want to end this.

I have just checked back and I haven't had a full and proper orgasm since February 8.  I'm starting to think that the longer you leave it, the less important it becomes and the stronger the desire to preserve it.

Day 189

I've been having a few sex dreams over the last few nights.  They mostly concern me being humiliated.  This afternoon, for instance, I had a two hour nap (I had a very late night followed by a very early morning) and quite a vivid dream.

I had a very small penis which was always hard.  My wife (I have no idea who she was but, in my dream, she was my wife - I'll call her Mary) was a dom and treated me badly, which just turned me on.

I've recently been thinking about being spat on or having a woman dribble spit into my mouth (I watched a porn video which had this in it and it's stuck in my mind) and, of course, Mary did a lot of this.

In the dream she was being fucked by a guy with a normal sized penis and they would keep saying how pathetic my little erection was.  Occasionally Mary would kick my balls.

As the guy was about to come, Mary forced me to suck his cock as she squeezed my balls.  I found the pain excruciating but, in the dream, it turned me on.  I was very aware of my tiny cock.

I woke up when the guy came and I had a good, solid erection.

Two things I'm not sure about.  Why am I enjoying these humiliation fantasies so much and why am I so horny?  Okay, it's been 189 days since I had a complete orgasm but my horny days usually only last a day or two every 11 days.  I've felt randy for the last four days.

I found this photo earlier and think it's a perfect match for my cock in the dream.

I really wish A would take me shopping for women's lingerie so I can feel really humiliated.  I might hate it but really want to know.

Day 187 [3]

Last night I masturbated a guy in a toilet in a pub in London.  He was very grateful.  He didn't take very long to come.  I stood behind him, took his cock in my hand and wanked him off.  I felt very dirty.  I didn't wash my hands and could still smell him on the way home.

I was sitting with friends outside in a beer garden.  The guy was sitting on his own, sort of next to me.  I just started chatting to him.  He was obviously gay.  He'd been stood up, saying he was supposed to meet some guy at the pub but he hadn't turned up.  He was a bit sad but quite horny.

I just mentioned that if he fancied some relief, I'd meet him in the toilet.  I then stood up and went inside.  He wasn't long behind me.  We went into an empty cubicle and that was it, really.

I left the toilet before he did and I never saw him again.

It's a bit sad that I've only managed three cocks in eight months!

Day 183

As I approach the magic 200 mark, I feel a sense of disappointment rather than anticipation.  It's almost as if chastity has become an old friend.  This run has been so much easier than last time because of the milking.  And I think that's why I'll miss it when it's over.

Speaking of milking...I missed my last fortnightly ruined orgasm because I went to Ireland for a week with my cousin.  This has meant another fortnightly wait.  I am due another ruin this coming Monday.

I had a rather pleasantly humiliating episode yesterday.  I decided to wear the 4" badge into Guildford.  On the way back, a couple of teenage girls saw it and one of them asked if it referred to what she thought it referred to.  When I said it probably did, she laughed a lot.  When she asked why I'd wear the badge, telling everyone, I said I'd been ordered to.  This made her laugh even more.  When I told A she increased my excitement by saying the girls would be dining out on the experience.