Day 59

A very relaxing day spent in the garden, cage keeping me honest.  It feels much better with it on again.

Day 58

Given that it was a blokey day spent doing things like drinking lots, watching football and cricket and having nothing whatsoever to do with sex, I have nothing to report.  I didn't wear the cage because of the toilet issue but there really was no need for it!

Day 57

The cage was very uncomfortable today.  I think it was the heat combined with wearing jeans.  The basement doesn’t have any cooling so I just suffer.  I think I’ll wear shorts next week.

Most uncomfortable is the little gap in the top of the ring.  It tends to pinch the skin on the top of my penis causing discomfort.  I may have solved the problem though.  I folded up a bit of toilet tissue and inserted it in the slot.  Since doing this, the pain has gone.

Here’s a photo of what the pinched skin looks like.

I think the complete ring used on the plastic devices is a much better design and I wonder whether there are metal devices that feature a complete ring.  If so, I would rather like one that’s slightly bigger as I’m fairly certain the one I have is too small.

Day 56

A busy day which prevented me from thinking about sex at all!  The cage was nice and comforting and rattled when I walked but, other than that, there's nothing to report.

Day 55

Nothing happened out of the ordinary yesterday so I didn't post.  Suffice to say that my inner thighs ached a lot after giving A her massage on Monday night.  I'm clearly not used to it.  Need to practice more, obviously.

I'm spending the day in London, waiting for a delivery from Parcelforce.  I like to wear just panties while in the flat so didn't wear the cage.  There is a block of flats directly opposite with views into them so I figure they have the same view into mine.  This gives me a strange sense of excitement.

The biggest thrill was while cleaning the balcony windows.  I wore a t-shirt but only had panties on the bottom.  I have no idea whether anyone saw me but was pretty much on show to anyone looking across.  Apart from the thrill, I can now say that my penis is not broken after all.

On the tube ride back to Waterloo, I was mesmerised by a woman wearing tights and a t-shirt, standing in front of me, arms stretched up, holding the bar.  Her tights were like a second skin and I could see virtually everything.  It was a feast for these pervy old eyes.

And then, on the train home, a woman in a see through dress wearing very lacy pants underneath.  Heavenly bliss.

I also imagined once or twice (at the very least) A, B & L sitting, naked on the bonnet of a Landrover.  This image will remain with me and will be used to ensure my penis still works.

Day 53

Spent a lovely evening with A, unspoilt by anything sexual.

I just read this in another blog:

In prolonged chastity, I can truly feel [my masculine side] slipping away.

I have to agree; the longer I wear the device, the less I feel like sex.  Instead, I feel the urge to serve.

Tonight, for instance, I had the opportunity to make dinner for A, followed by a back massage.  I thoroughly enjoyed being her temporary 'sub'.  I can only hope she'll let me give her a full massage sometime so I can serve her more.

Actually, though it's obviously impossible, I would love to serve her over a 24 hour period.  Let her do nothing as I served her thoroughly.  I think she'd enjoy that.

We briefly discussed the cage and how it pinches and squashes certain bits of me.  I quite enjoyed showing her.

Day 52

I had a day without the cage yesterday.  Actually, to be more accurate, I was without the cage from 4:30pm until this morning at 8.

The reason was because I was going to be drinking at a crowded venue.  Beer goes through me like...well like beer, and I spend a lot of time in the loo.  Being a pub, I figured I'd not be able to bag the cubicle every time so opted for the safer option.

I'm very glad I did!  The urinals (three) had barely room for three to stand at them and the cubicle seemed to be permanently in use.  It would have been impossible to aim straight and avoid people seeing it.

I was lucky enough to spend time with A though.  Which made up for it.

I have, however, had the cage on all day today and will continue wearing it until next Saturday when I will once more be consuming vast quantities of beer.

PS:  I agree with A's comment about it shrinking.  It has stopped getting hard very often and, when soft, is very small.

Day 50

What an awful day!  I had a text from A asking for a photo of the cage and all I could do was let her down.  I have felt miserable and pathetic.

Without descending to excuses, what happened was this:  The toilet which is three floors up from the basement where I work, has but one cubicle in it.  When she asked I went straight up there but it was being used.  It was lunch time, so I went to lunch, thinking I would do it later.

At 3, I went back up to try again and, excellent, it was empty.  I knew my phone was low on juice but I thought it could manage a picture and text.  I prepared, I aimed the camera, I took the picture and the phone died.  Dead as the proverbial.  I had no idea whether the photo was taken or not.

And so, I am on a train home, at 9:30, the rain pouring down outside, waiting to get home so I can check if it worked and to beg forgiveness.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Well, at least the photo worked (if somewhat blurry).  Here it is:

Day 49

I sat opposite a woman with a very impressive cleavage for about two hours today.  It made it quite difficult to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing.  As a result, I managed to press a wrong button.  A little later, I was helping her in the kitchen and discovered she has very big nipples as well.

Normally this sort of display would have me all excited.  My cage made sure I was just frustrated.

Day 48

After yesterday's comment by A, I have to admit to being somewhat excited at the prospect of her holding my key.  Having the freedom to take the cage off to shower (for instance) is obviously a bit of a luxury.  There is also the question of logistics, which I won't go into here.

Still, I find it very exciting.

I had a request from someone for a photograph of me in my skimpiest “panties, showing your tiny bulge” and decided on this one.

Obviously I had to remove the cage first.  This would not be possible if A had the key.  I have to decide against such displays if I give her control.

And if I make her my keyholder, does that mean she’ll unlock and remove the cage when it’s time?  Rather than get me to do it, I mean.  I would like that very much as it increases the idea that my penis belongs to her and not just my orgasm – if she decides to go with the marble idea.  Though, in saying that, I understand any reticence she may have.

We have a lunch planned for next week and, if we could then meet the following week, she could hold the key for that period.  Perhaps this would be an exciting test for me.  I need to think on it more.

Day 47

For some reason, today I had an overwhelming desire to masturbate.  Fortunately the cage prevents this.  These days seem to roll around every now and then.

I've read on the Chastity Forum where most guys get this every ten days (on average) but maybe I'm more (or less) often on the scale.

When a man is in chastity and his wife is the keyholder, according to some, the husband tends to be more attentive and pliable.  I guess this is something to do with the keyholder's control, in a way, their possession of the man's 'maleness'.

In my case, because I have no keyholder, I just feel very, very frustrated.

Day 46

Today I tried to test myself by gardening wearing just a t-shirt and lacy panties.  I feel secure in the back part of the garden (unless someone looks over the fence which rarely happens) because the trees and bushes provide a lot of privacy but, because of the intermittent showers all day, I found myself running back into the house a lot.

It's an odd thing I've noticed that, after a while, the fear of being seen dissipates.  I think my mind just gets used to the idea and concentrates on the job at hand.  The same thing happens when I strip off outside.  At first there's the frantic searching around to make sure there's no-one around but after a few minutes, redressing is just an annoyance because being naked feels so good.  It's like the nakedness beats the fear or the panties beat the fear, in today's case.

I've also been thinking about the marble thing, wondering why I find it exciting.  I'm sure it's partly the gamble; the odds stacked against me but willing to play anyway.  Gambling on unlikely outcomes is a very human thing to do.  It's the pay-off when you succeed.

It's also partly the fact that, if I pick a black marble and A then determines how much longer I am to remain in chastity, it gives her power over my orgasm and pleasure.  She could say a day, a week, a month, anything.  I'm then doing it for her.  She would, metaphorically, own my cock.  This, then gives me the sub role I'm pretty sure I crave.  I have no control whereas, at the moment, my self-imposed 90 days is all my own doing.

Something else I find exciting is the fact that the odds get greater the more times a marble is taken out.  It is not impossible that I may never come again!  Why this makes me excited is truly odd and something I cannot explain...even slightly.

I have to admit that her comment regarding the marbles game also made me quite excited.

Given all that, the whole thing scares me as well, pretty much for the same reasons.

I was reading on the chastity forum today about guys who have full penetrative sex with their other halves without an orgasm.  They manage to control themselves until their partner is satisfied then are told to stop and go to sleep.  That's a level of control I'm not sure I could attain.

Good God!  This could be me!  Well, without the speaking bit.  I quite like it around the 12 & 20 minute marks.

Chubby and hairy

I've been watching too much gay sex...it's making me want some!

Day 45

Well, I won't be doing that again!  After a day with my foreskin pulled back I removed the cage for washing (as usual) and it had swollen up!  The foreskin, not the cage.  The underside looked like it had a fat lip from some inter-cock boxing match.  And was it sore!  I think I'll put up with the difficulty with peeing rather than go through that again.  It also meant I didn't wear the cage last night as my cock refused to get small enough.  Here's a couple of shots I took just before and after my shower.

[WARNING:  It isn't very nice]

Before cage removal

After the shower

Happy to say that everything had returned to normal by the next morning although it's still a bit tender.  Decided to leave the cage off for the day for comforts sake.

And the day hasn't been much of a challenge.  I wore my pretty pink panties and watched some porn (a bunch of guys masturbating another guy who was tied up, stopping before he could come...about 10 times) but otherwise was busy about the house being a little housewife.

Day 44

Have found an excellent Chastity Forum (the link is to the right).  Not only does it contain mature and considered discussions of various chastity issues but the level of literacy is extremely high.  I spent quite a while reading through old posts before joining and hope to comment soon with a few questions of my own.  The sense of community is very strong within the group so I'm hoping for helpful replies.

An interesting topic has been about telling a mutual friend about the situation.  The discussion ended up being about whether this was 'hot or not'.  Having thought about it, I think it's hot for me.  This is probably the need for humiliation but, whatever, it would be exciting if someone else knew about it.  Given that A is the only person who knows, makes this somewhat difficult to achieve.

Another idea some couples have I'm sure A would love.  It's an orgasm ratio.  The woman sets a number (say 10:1) meaning the man maybe gets an orgasm after the woman has ten.  Of course this can be changed by the woman at any time and multiple orgasms are still counted as one.

A similar system involves black and white marbles (or counters of some sort).  After a period of chastity, the man draws a marble (or counter) from a drawstring bag.  If it is white then he gets to orgasm, if it's black then the chastity period continues for a specified time.  After each drawing another black marble is added to the bag so the chances of an orgasm are reduced for each drawing.  Brilliantly devilish if you ask me.

This made me wonder how I'd feel if A decided, after 90 days, that I should go for longer.  Perhaps we could play with the marble idea.  Be ready for release and then draw a marble which would determine whether I could orgasm or not.  It's just a thought!  I'm not even halfway yet (tomorrow) and have no idea how I'll feel at full time.

I was experimenting with the new camera last night as well as pulling back my foreskin while in the cage.  Here's the result.

The head is as tender as it looks!  But it does make it easier to go to the loo and feels cleaner.  Lots of lube is the answer.

Day 43

Cage back on...relief all round...of a sort.

The trouble with not wearing a chastity device is how tempting it is to just grab it and squeeze it.  While this is generally quite harmless (and feels very nice) it can be a bit dangerous when trying to maintain one's chastity.  It also takes away the inherent control over your body.

I need to apologise to A for not taking a photograph of the chastity device at the Museum of Sex. I just didn't think of it!  I have no idea why.  It's normally what I would do.  Perhaps I was too much in awe.

I have been messaging with a guy who is trying to get his wife to control his orgasms.  When he heard about my 70 and now 90 days, he wanted to know if I had any ideas about how to convince his wife.  They don't seem to talk very openly about sex and she has a low sex drive.  Still, he's being very submissive to her and not letting her do anything.

Then, the other day, he had a breakthrough.  For reasons I won't go into, they started to discuss her needs -v- his, giving him an ideal opportunity to try and explain why he wanted her to control his orgasms.  I'm hoping it will lead to bigger and better things for him but, as we discussed, it's baby steps first.

Day 42

I spent a rather disturbed six hours on the plane from New York.  I found that every time I drifted off to sleep, I'd start dreaming about sex which would give me an erection which would wake me up again.  Very annoying.

I eventually managed to get some sleep when I began thinking of giving A a massage.  I used to give K massages because she had a bad back and I was pretty good at it (if I do say so myself and she never complained).  In my thoughts A enjoyed it as well.

Tomorrow sees the beginning of a possible three weeks with the cage on.  This will be the longest I have worn it.  Given the way I feel at the moment, this can only be a good thing.

Day 40 [cont]

I ventured from my cool hotel room to go and visit the Museum of Sex, on 5th Avenue and I'm very glad I did!  An amazing place.  Not just for the exhibits (which are amazing in themselves) but also for the people watching.  I really wanted to buy A something but there wasn't anything I could sneak home in my bag for her.  Still, I thought of her while looking at the steel dildos and glass rabbits.

The first thing you see at the MoS is a big, bright boutique style shop front.  It's all very light and could be any kind of exclusive 5th Avenue store.  After buying a ticket at the desk, you are ushered into the back area where it all becomes a lot darker.

The first floor has lots of video screens dotted around the walls with explanation cards (like in any museum) explaining what, why and when.  In the centre of the room are large tables with flat screen TVs in them showing constant porn.  The room is very dark and the other visitors (and there were quite a few) are all a bit shadowy.  This all goes a long way to keeping it all a bit seedy.

In the second room, I was reading one of the information boards which was explaining early gay porn when I heard a woman beside me say "My God!"  I looked down.  On the huge table in front of me was an extreme close up of a guy sucking a massive cock.  Slowly. 

I looked at the woman and smiled, saying it was very big.  I meant the screen rather than the cock but she thought I meant the latter and agreed, saying "I'd like to get me some of that!"  I laughed and she wandered off.

Most of the people were in groups and I noticed an older white woman with her hand firmly around the arm of a younger black guy.  They were clearly pleased with a lot of the exhibits.  There was also a fair few groups of just females.

The visitor is then ushered to the 3rd floor where there is a very bright display of animals engaging in all manner of sexual practices including lesbian monkeys, masturbating turtles and a three way antelope session.  All quite disconcerting.  Boards proclaim that monogamy is not the norm n the animal kingdom - I thought A would like that!

The 2nd floor has a lot of devices, including two life-like sex dolls.  They are behind glass but there are two holes cut at the appropriate places for the visitor to have a fondle.  I have to say that the cock felt real and very hard.  The woman felt like rubber and wasn't nearly as good.

Also in this section was a fantastic male chastity belt from the 1800s.  It looked more like a torture device and I really, really wanted to try it!

The final section is cartoons and comics.  In front of a screen showing Japanese Manga, a group of four girls were sat giggling as I walked by.  One of them pointed a camera at me and asked if I'd take their picture while they were watching the cartoon.  I stepped back and lined the shot up, asking if they were ready.  One said "Wait for a cock!  In a second...NOW!" and I took it for them.  They then went into another fit of the giggles.

So, what an unexpected surprise!  I recommend the New York Museum of Sex to anyone wanted a rather odd museum experience.

Day 40

I know I've missed a few days but I've been in New York and it's been very difficult to post blog entries.  However, I find myself alone in my hotel room for a bit, the aircon up to full blast, naked and chilling.

I've had a few sexy dreams, waking with a raging hard on, but really, playing the tourist has meant sex has not really reared it's ugly head very much.  The ridiculous heat at the moment has also managed to stay any impulses somewhat.

I'm back in the UK soon and will post more regularly.  Suffice to say that, at day 40, my cock is hard but my semen remains intact.

Day 35

I had a rather sexy dream last night.  It was clearly the result of the last few days of inaction.  A number of the elements were taken directly from an email I had from A last week.

In the dream I was going to a concert with A.  On the way, she parked her car and, after a bit of prompting from me, removed her jeans and underwear and put on a summery dress.  She let me play with her a bit in order to ‘warm her up’ for the concert.

We were standing near the back of a small concert hall along with lots of others (mostly men).  As the band played and we moved to the music, I made sure that my hand strayed to her bottom as often as possible, surreptitiously lifting the dress just enough for anyone standing behind to see her gorgeous bare behind.  This was very effective when it came time to applaud as I lifted my hand from behind her, lifting the hem very high.

During the break a couple of guys started talking to us about the support act, their eyes on A rather than me.  They commented on how we seemed to be enjoying the music.  One of them was flirting with A, saying how sexy she looked in the dress.  A enjoyed all the attention. 

The two guys stayed near us for the main band and I made sure they enjoyed the view from behind us.  When the set finished, they asked us if we were up for some fun.  We said yes.  They suggested a dogging site just outside town, winking.  A smiled and we all left for our cars.

We reached the site very quickly (as you do in dreams) and the two guys came over to the car.  A moved into the back seat with them both while I watched from the front. 

The dress didn’t last long and the three of them were soon pawing each other, groping and kissing.  There followed an orgy of car sex with A taking them both on, enjoying their (big, of course) cocks and both of them enjoying her body completely.

At this point there came a knock on my window and a woman opened the door, reached in and put her hand between my legs.  She thought I was very hard but, of course, it was the cage she was feeling.  I tried to explain as I pushed her away.  She just laughed.  A guy came up behind her and started molesting her in front of me.

It was at this point that I woke up, straining at the cage and in need of some relief.  Naturally, I didn’t get any.


I found this photo today and find it strangely exciting.  If only I wasn't so hairy!

It looks so cute and harmless.

In the afternoon I found a delightful video featuring a wife visiting a glory hole with her husband who, quite generously, filmed it all.  She sucked eight to completion on the video (it was edited for the boring bits though a few guys came very quickly anyway) and seemed to enjoy all of them.

As well as being a real turn on, it reminded me of the night I spent three hours in a glory hole booth in Sydney.  I can't remember how many I sucked that night but I do remember enjoying it a lot.  It was an odd night because I had left a pimps and prostitutes party (I was a prostitute) drunk, having already sucked a few cocks and ended up at this gay video place where I sucked some more.  I was such a slut in those days.

I may tell about my adventures as a school girl slut one day...as the frustration gets worse.

Days 32-34

I feel like I've been slack in posting but I did have a cold and any thoughts were about sleeping rather than writing (or sex).  However, I am well again and back to posting.

Today was a non-cage day (for reasons I won't go into) so I decided to try something I rather like doing.  It involves trying to find someone to whack me in the balls.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not into ball bashing per se but I do like it happening by 'chance'.  The trick is to find someone to (sort of) run into.  I have found escalators work quite well.

Today I had to catch a Tube on the Jubilee Line which has two very long escalators.  Being the middle of the day means there's a lot of day trippers on the Tube who are not necessarily aware of the Stand on the Right rule.  This means you tend to get some who stand in the middle or who have at least some of their body over the imaginary halfway line.

The first escalator gave no joy as I ran down it but the second had a group of three girls sort of crowded on two steps.  I stopped to look at my watch, giving them time to get a bit down the escalator then I took off after them.  And I did it perfectly! 

One of the girls was swinging her arm around, talking about something and her hand caught me right between the legs.  A perfect shot.  She instantly apologised, her hands going to her mouth.  One of her friends was laughing while the other (with her back to me) wanted to know what was going on.  I stammered out an 'it's ok' and managed to get passed them to the next step where I stood, a bit doubled, to recover.

Of course, it not only hurt but it also made me quite hard.  The girls just kept laughing until we reached the bottom when the girl who had hit me apologised again.  I smiled faintly, clearly in agony.  I was very happy with this result which I think indicates the level of my frustration.

In the afternoon I was walking home when I spotted a jogger.  There's a lot of joggers in the park near me, mostly women during the day and nearly all of them wearing lycra shorts with obvious camel toes.  I don't get this.  I figure that women do not like them (men really do, I can assure you) so can only imagine they don't look in a mirror before going out.

I saw two today, both of whom had incredible camel toes.  The first was wearing black shorts and showing a lot of lower cleavage.  Tearing my eyes away from her crotch, I noticed she also had very big and hard nipples. 

The second jogger was wearing white lycra shorts.  I have to say, she's pretty brave.  White does not hide anything.  After she'd run by me I felt I'd seen everything she had to offer.

Now this is SO not a criticism.  I love it and would like to thank these (and other) ladies who are happy to flash the toe for appreciative males.

Days 28-31

I’ve reached a third of the way.  Over the weekend, given that I was drunk for most of it and with a bunch of blokes at the cricket, there was not a lot of sexual tension.  Actually, there wasn’t any.  Hopefully this will change as I return to my normal days of cage and porn.