Day 27

It has been a lovely day.  A great, delicious day.  I am all a fluster with frustration after my meeting with John.

We arranged to meet at a pub I know which has good, private toilets, for obvious reasons as well as decent beer. I waited outside and was approached by a 30 something chap in a suit.  He asked if I was who he was meeting, we shook hands and went inside.  He was clearly nervous so I bought beers and we sat in a secluded corner.

Taking it slow, we chatted for a bit first.  He said his girlfriend didn't like giving blow jobs while he loved getting them.  He wasn't really bi-curious but really wanted to be sucked off.  I assured him that that was all I wanted.

He asked me about the chastity thing which I explained.  He was amazed I'd managed to last 27 days but was completely stunned at the thought of going 90 days without an orgasm.  I tried to explain how good it was but he gave up trying to understand.

Finally I knocked back the rest of my beer and told him I was going to the toilets and he should give it five minutes then join me.

The toilets at this pub are very big, bright and airy with full door and wall cubicles - very private.  They are also well away from the main bar, being on the first floor.  I went in and stood at the sinks, waiting.  Eventually the door opened and John came in.  He looked very nervous so I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him into the first cubicle.

Before he could change his mind, I sat down and started undoing his trousers, whispering that he should be quiet.  This was for two reasons.  Firstly so we didn't get caught and secondly to make it harder for him to back out at the last minute.

Nervous he may have been but it didn't effect his excitement.  I pulled his pants down a bit and he sprang out.  He was hard as a rock and pointing straight up.  His cock was about 7" and a good thickness.  It was also very, very hot.  My own erection was straining in the cage making things very uncomfortable.  I got down to business, tasting the heat and sliding him in and out of my mouth.

I was thoroughly enjoying myself when he suddenly started shaking and came, unexpectedly.  He came a lot, grunting, trying not to make any noise.  He tasted very nice and I swallowed it all. As he recovered, I held him and softly sucked and licked him, enjoying his pleasure.

Suddenly he pulled his cock away from me, tucked it back in his pants and pulled his trousers up.  He smiled weakly, hardly looking at me, mumbled a "thank you" then was gone.  I sat for a bit before going to a sink to wash my hands.

Back in the bar, there was no sign of him.  I ordered a second beer, sat back down at the same secluded table and enjoyed it thoroughly.

The rest of the day was spent merely reflecting on my good fortune and watching some porn...of course.


And a small note...I'm going to be away for the next few days and, sadly, will not be able to post.  My next post should be on July 2, Day 30.

Day 26

My last thoughts before going to sleep last night were of A in a field, sitting astride her lover, pumping away to an orgasm.  I was a non-existent observer - like a camera - watching very closely.  Just a short distance away people were walking by, not seeing the action but making it deliciously dangerous.  Her muffled cries as she came slowly faded away as I drifted into sleep.

Still, that was last night.  Today I watched a rather exciting video featuring a compilation of black men with big cocks penetrating white women.  The video was put together like a music video with a cover of  Paint it Black behind it.  It also featured single words every now and then.

The whole thing was meant to make lesser white men feel inadequate.  It certainly worked on me.

Now, I'm a realist and know that all black men are not hung like stallions while all white men are hung like prawns.  Actually I have evidence.  A black guy with a small one and a white guy with a big one.  K would vouch for the latter as she had him a number of times.  Still, it's fun to be made to feel this inadequate.  Don't ask me why.  It's the cuckold thing I guess.

Watching this video reminded me of something I'd completely forgotten about.  It happened when I was working on the help desk at a law firm in Sydney.  Back in those days, back up and maintenance of the system had to be done by hand and at fairly unsociable hours, so we took turns.

This particular morning it was my turn to take the early shift so I turned up to work at about 5:30am.  I set up and set off the bits I had to do and then went to make a coffee, while I waited for the next bit.

On the floor where I worked there was a shower attached to the toilets with doors connecting to male and female on either side.  This shower was for the partners of the firm and no-one else.  Everyone was told this the day they started.  In those days you could be out of a job for such an infringement.

So, this morning I went to the toilet and heard someone in the shower.  I thought this was odd but figured a partner was in early and needed a shower...you can never really figure lawyers out sometimes.

While I was standing at the sinks, washing my hands, the shower door opened and out walked a young black guy, completely naked with the most perfect cock I'd ever seen.  He was as shocked as me and he sputtered out an apology and tried to go back into the shower room.  I told him it was fine telling him his cock was so magnificent it deserved to be on display.  I said it sort of jokey and he smiled.

He explained that he was a cleaner and always took a shower at the end of his shift.  He used different showers on different floors to lessen the chance of being caught.  I was the first person to catch him and he was worried I'd say something.  I made a deal with him.  If he let me suck his cock, I'd keep silent about him using the shower.

He was a little unsure at first but eventually gave in and I spent a wonderful half hour with his cock in my mouth.  He came twice.  He was very pleased he didn't have to do anything to me.  I never saw him again.

His cock was about 8-9" and very thick.  At least that's how I remember it.  I distinctly remember how beautiful it looked and how stiff it was in my mouth.  Speaking of which...


I have found a chap, not far from me, who is 'bi-curious' and wants to have his cock sucked.  His name is John.  He said he may like to try more so I had to tell him about my chastity...just in case he wants to try sucking mine.

This is a rather good excuse because, while I love sucking others, I'm not really that keen on getting blow jobs.  I watch guys on porn videos getting them and, while I find it very hot to watch (I generally imagine I'm the person doing it) as a real thing, it just doesn't work.

When I say 'it doesn't work' I mean I don't get hard and generally just want to stop.  I have no idea why this is but it's been that way as far back as I can remember.  In saying that, I have successfully come in someone's mouth before.  If I'm already hard I can stay that way long enough to finish - always quickly.  But it still isn't as enjoyable as it probably should be.

It's rather annoying because I can see why it should be very exciting and enjoyable but my cock just doesn't feel the same as me.

Day 25

Something I've noticed (and which I noticed during the 70 days) is how much 'pre-cum' there is on the head of my penis.  I have no idea what this stuff is and, as much as I don't like the term 'pre-cum', there's nothing else I can think of calling it.  It has an oily consistency and feels like a lubricant.  It seems to be a permanent feature the longer my chastity.

I'd be interested to know whether this happens to other men or whether I'm just big on excretions.  It's not unpleasant, just a bit excessive.  Actually, it feels quite pleasant between the head and the foreskin.

I feel a bit sexually charged and notice the smallest things.  For instance, there was a woman standing at the counter near me in Starbucks wearing white cotton trousers.  I'm pretty sure I could make out the line of her pants.  Of course, this could have been the chastity convincing me.  To be fair, I'm inclined to think that this is the case.

Most of the day I spent in the garden, toiling away, my cage rattling in my shorts without any real disturbances.  It makes me realise how quickly the cage becomes part of you.  Just like wearing a t-shirt or shorts.  It is only apparent when it impacts on bodily functions.  I really do enjoy wearing it.  Call me crazy.

Later in the day I had a fantastic email from A, describing a wonderful bout of outdoor sex which really had me going.  It had everything.  Exhibitionism, voyeurism, oral, penetrative, orgasms, a topless guy who nearly joined in (not that he realised how lucky he could have been).  So much better than my imagined sex in a museum toilet!

I have always thought K is an amazingly sexual person and didn't think I'd be lucky enough to find someone else quite like her but I'm pretty sure A is right up there with her.  I love hearing about her adventures.

She has also asked me to model my new summer jacket while wearing a pair of my panties to ascertain how fem the jacket looks so here goes.  I'm not convinced.

Possibly good news on the cock hunting front.  More on this tomorrow.

Day 24

Yesterday A went and visited a couple of museums so I went to sleep filled with visions of her having furtive, furious sex in disabled toilets.  I’ve never been lucky enough to see this happen but that didn’t stop me imagining it!  Naturally it ensured a good solid erection.  Fortunately I went to sleep before the situation became too much for me.

Today I was reading about an American religious cult dating from the late 19^th century, who practised male chastity in order to reduce the likelihood of unwanted pregnancies.  According to the statistics, it worked very well. 

Something very interesting came out of my reading.  This group, apparently, ‘trained’ in a rather unorthodox way.  Young males would be initiated into sex by the older women of the group who were past the point of child bearing while the younger women were taught the skills of pleasure and male chastity by the older men of the group.  Sounds like a very workable system to me.

The article is here: The Oneida Community New York History piece

Saw something interesting while walking home from the shops this morning.  A group comprising mum, dad, two kids and a single male were walking along the park path.  She was pushing a pram in which was one child.  The father was walking a little ahead with the second child who was walking a bit.  The other guy was walking beside the woman chatting to her.

All that seems perfectly normal and, indeed it was, except for one small thing.  She was wearing a long, swishy and very see through skirt.  Beneath the skirt, plainly visible, she was wearing a tiny pair of bright white pants.  Not a thong, just very tiny. 

This was the first thing I noticed, obviously – I was hypnotised by the gentle swish as she walked along.  Then I noticed the guy walking beside her.  Now, when I say ‘beside’ her, he was actually a little behind, his head glancing often at her little behind.

They stopped a little way in front of me and the woman said something to the other guy with the child.  The guy who’d been staring at her was now well behind her and getting a great eyeful.  Sadly I had to walk by them thus ending my viewing pleasure.

Having an over fertile imagination, I assume that this was husband and wife (and kids) with friend of the husband visiting for the weekend with the intention of having sex with her while the husband watches.  The walk in the park was merely to take the kids to their grandparents before the main course begins.  That's my dreams sorted for tonight then.

Day 23

Another very busy day without any time to worry about my chastity.

Day 22

I was disturbed by dreams of K last night.  This kept me up and awake for quite a while.  It was mostly memories of watching her and her boyfriend in our bed.  It never fails.  Probably a very good job I was wearing the cage.

Subsequently I was very tired at work and had to use all my will to stay awake so there’s not a lot to report.  I did wear the 4” badge on the Tube but didn’t get any reactions that I could see.

I do feel very frustrated though.  Whenever my thoughts turn to sex it’s like I’m being taunted.  I can almost see my cock poking a tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry.

The above was written on the train coming home from work today.  There was a woman sitting next to me.  I didn't try and hide the screen or reduce the text size.  I'm pretty sure she could read it and did.  There was no reaction, however.

Day 21

Three weeks now...but who's counting?  Well, I am, actually!

Anyway, today was a very busy one with nary time to scratch, let alone squeeze, myself.  The cage did it's work nicely.

Day 20

The frustration is really beginning to kick in.  I feel an overpowering urge to find a cock to suck.  Any cock.  To that end I have started searching various forums online, looking for someone close and discrete.

To be fair, I’d be just as happy going down on a woman but a cock is generally easier to find and not nearly as fussy.

Of course, thinking about this brings back memories of the many cocks I’ve had the pleasure of sucking in the past.  I don’t remember my first because it was at a party and I was under the influence of many things.  Besides, there was quite a few that night in what was, basically, a gay orgy.

The one I remember with great fondness was a guy I met in a play.  For the purposes of this blog, I shall call him M.  He was clearly gay, playing the second male lead and we hit it off from the beginning.  I was clearly straight so there was never anything sexual between us during the run of the production.

After the run ended we kept in touch.  He lived quite a distance from me so it was mostly on the phone (this is WAY before email and the Internet wasn’t even a twinkle).  I lived alone in Sydney so whenever he felt like spending a weekend in the big city, he’d stay over.  The first time he slept on the lounge.

The second time he visited we went to an exhibition of naked male photographs (it may have been Mapplethorpe but I really cannot remember).  After looking at a lot of naked men, we went for a meal then back to the flat.

We sat and chatted over a couple of bottles of wine, watched some tv and generally chilled late into the night.  I can distinctly remember us sitting on the floor, our heads resting on the lounge, our legs stretched out in front of us.

I blame (if any blame is due) the photographs but I reached down and started playing with his cock through his jeans.  He was already quite hard but grew a lot before I could undo his trousers and release him.

It was a lovely cock.  Young, strong, hard, thick and about 8”.  M didn’t say a word as I lowered my mouth onto it and proceeded to blow him.  He didn’t take very long and I swallowed it all.  When I sat back against the lounge he kissed me on the cheek and said thank you.

He didn’t sleep on the lounge that night or any other night he came to stay – which was quite often – and we enjoyed each other many times.  I can’t remember why we fell out of the habit of seeing each other but, sadly, we did and I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing.  If I did I’d like him to know his cock was very special and the one I really consider my first.

On the train home from London this afternoon, I undid my jeans so my white panties could just be peeked but I’m fairly certain no-one saw them. 

Day 19

Not a lot to report today.  I spent the day in the cage but worked almost all day in the garden so not a lot of time for naughty thoughts.

After work, however, I did watch a fair bit of porn.  I quite liked this image so I took it off a video.

Would quite like to try that.

And here's a picture of the other pair of panties I bought yesterday.  I like these best.

Which makes me wonder why I like wearing women's pants.  I've read where guys like wearing them because they feel good (which they do) and other guys who like to look fem but, I think, the main reason I wear them is because I'm not supposed to.  It's the taboo thing.  It might also be the fact that someone might just see them.  Naturally that would be quite humiliating.

Day 18

I've had a rather exciting day. and, fortunately, have the cage securely in place.

I went to Woking to buy some shoes and shirts (and panties) and, as mentioned yesterday, I wore the 90 days badge conspicuously on my jacket pocket.  I felt a bit obvious but soon forgot about it as I wandered down to TK Maxx.

I decided to try my luck in the changing rooms.  I know from past experience that if you 'forget' to lock the changing room doors, the sometimes swing open and if you choose the right one, the girl on the desk gets a great view.  No luck today, though.  The door behaved itself, sadly.  I then picked up a couple of shirts and headed for the shoes.

At the end of then shoe aisles, the shop has small seats where you can try on shoes and opposite each one there is a tilted mirror which you can use to see what the shoes look like if you stand up.  The thing about these mirrors is that if someone is sitting down trying shoes on and someone approached from the aisle, you get a very clear view between their legs.

The only view on show today was a woman in trousers but it did make me think that maybe A could try this to flash a lucky shoe salesman.  A skirt, no pants and trying various pairs of shoes on could make his day.  This stems from a conversation we had about female exhibitionists and think she should try it.  I'd gladly be there for immoral support.

I found a pair of shoes and then went to the lingerie area to pick a couple of pairs of panties, taking my time over the selection, daring myself.  A few women noticed me and one, standing next to me, said she liked a particular pair I was admiring.  I tried to hide the fact that I was deeply embarrassed and agreed before taking a pair and heading for the checkout.

Outside the shopping centre I headed for Starbucks for a coffee since I had half an hour before my train home.  I settled myself at a table and took my book out.  I hadn't been there five minutes before a woman came over, excused herself and asked me what my badge meant.  The conversation went something like this:

HER:  I'm sorry.  I don't mean to be rude but I just noticed your badge and wondered what it meant.
ME:  Not at all.  I'm trying to remain chaste for 90 days.
HER:  Really?  Why?
ME:  To see if I can.  I've managed 70 days and want to try for the full three months.
HER:  Wow.  It must be difficult.
ME:  Sometimes it's very difficult, yes.  I have a...umm...device.  That helps.
HER:  [laughing] Really?  A chastity thing?  With a lock and a key?
ME:  Yes.  My keyholder thought the badge was a good idea.
HER:  Oh.  Ok.  Cool.  Thanks.  And good luck!
ME:  Thank you.

And she left, smiling.  During this exchange I felt humiliated and very excited.  A big part of me wanted her to ask to see it but I knew this wasn't going to happen.  It didn't stop me thinking about it though.

I've included a photo of me in one pair of the panties I bought just to complete my humiliation.

 In this one, I'm tucked...

...and this one, untucked.  I quite like this one because I look quite small.

Day 17

I have found a very effective way to keep myself excited and also prevent touching.  I sit with my penis squashed between my legs.  It can very effective but is important that the balls are kept out of the way.  I didn't a few times and managed to squash the wrong thing.  Not comfortable and very quickly deflates the erection!

A solution to this is to twist the balls to the top while pushing the penis down, between the legs.  Sounds uncomfortable but it actually feels quite nice.  Though, again, any unconscious squeeze can end in agony.

I'm off to Woking tomorrow to buy shoes (and maybe some pants) and will try and wear the 90 days badge.

Day 16

Woke up with a very sensitive penis today.  The merest touch produces very pleasant feelings.  It’s as if my penis has taken over, trying to get me to relieve it.  It takes a lot of willpower to stop myself.  It’s such a simple thing to do but a greater feeling of satisfaction is produced by denying myself this simple pleasure.

I remained sensitive for the entire day and spent it trying to think of other things.